Here are some of the stranger thing I experience on a daily basis. Laughter is encouraged, but only because I can't see or hear you laughing at me. Enjoy.
There’s a typo written in irremovable ink on my English classroom wall – “World Famous Beauty Spofs.”
Chocolate did not encourage my students to participate. It did, however, encourage me to eat it in front of them.
I wonder if my kids know Sanford and Son. If they don’t, they certainly know the theme song because that’s what I sing to them all day.
Yelling really loud with a booming, bass voice will instantly quiet and scare the shit out of a room full of 40 students. Cracking up as a result reverses that effect.
No baseball bats in the classroom, therefore plastic tennis rackets = bats as props for role play. Line: “Is this your bat?” “Yes it is!” No, it isn’t. It’s a tennis racket and it belongs to the school. What the fuck am I teaching these kids?
My mouse-wheel squeaks.
My pointer lost a finger.
My hair broke a set of clippers.
I never thought I’d utter the phrase “You are going to sit quietly while I have my coffee.”
I accidentally changed the language on the copy machine from Korean to English. I couldn’t figure out how to change it back.
I couldn’t figure out why my good students who volunteer in class were angry when I gave chocolate as incentive to the students who wouldn’t, and not to them… until I actually spoke those words out loud.
Korean apartments are heated by steam pipes running under the floor. As a result my clothes are warmer than I am at night. I’ve never had a better reason to clean my room.
The 3rd floor of my school is an “English Only Zone”. My classroom is on the 5th floor. Something is amiss but I can’t figure out what.
In Korea X’s and O’s as symbols mean the opposite of what they mean in the U.S. No wonder my love is unrequited… I’ve been sending it out all wrong.
There’s a typo written in irremovable ink on my English classroom wall – “World Famous Beauty Spofs.”
Chocolate did not encourage my students to participate. It did, however, encourage me to eat it in front of them.
I wonder if my kids know Sanford and Son. If they don’t, they certainly know the theme song because that’s what I sing to them all day.
Yelling really loud with a booming, bass voice will instantly quiet and scare the shit out of a room full of 40 students. Cracking up as a result reverses that effect.
No baseball bats in the classroom, therefore plastic tennis rackets = bats as props for role play. Line: “Is this your bat?” “Yes it is!” No, it isn’t. It’s a tennis racket and it belongs to the school. What the fuck am I teaching these kids?
My mouse-wheel squeaks.
My pointer lost a finger.
My hair broke a set of clippers.
I never thought I’d utter the phrase “You are going to sit quietly while I have my coffee.”
I accidentally changed the language on the copy machine from Korean to English. I couldn’t figure out how to change it back.
I couldn’t figure out why my good students who volunteer in class were angry when I gave chocolate as incentive to the students who wouldn’t, and not to them… until I actually spoke those words out loud.
Korean apartments are heated by steam pipes running under the floor. As a result my clothes are warmer than I am at night. I’ve never had a better reason to clean my room.
The 3rd floor of my school is an “English Only Zone”. My classroom is on the 5th floor. Something is amiss but I can’t figure out what.
In Korea X’s and O’s as symbols mean the opposite of what they mean in the U.S. No wonder my love is unrequited… I’ve been sending it out all wrong.
Dude, these are some of the funniest things you've ever said. ever. And that includes the time you almost made me crash my car on 29 by saying "it's like musical instruments!"
Seth. I second what Sam said, holy shit. Have you been listening to Mitch Hedberg or something? Someone needs to write some one-liners. Jesus. (& oh, that musical instruments joke, that's the best!)